“Normal” Teenage Behaviour or ASD???

As parents, navigating the “Awkward” teenage years can be a challenge, especially when your child has a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Many behaviours that emerge during adolescence, such as pushing boundaries, seeking independence or withdrawing from family, are often mistakenly attributed solely to ASD. While autism can influence how a young person experiences the world, it’s important to distinguish between what is part of their diagnosis and what is simply part of being a teenager.

Understanding the difference between ASD related behaviours and typical teenage development helps parents and support networks respond more effectively. If every challenging moment is assumed to be due to autism, it may lead to unnecessary interventions, increased frustration or complete disregard. On the other hand, overlooking genuine struggles linked to ASD can leave a child without the support they need.

Helpful Questions to Ask Yourself

Next time your teenager displays a behaviour that concerns you, step through these key questions:

Is this behaviour common among neurotypical teens?

Would you expect a 14-year-old without ASD to push back on house rules, avoid family time, or spend long hours in their room?
Thinking back on your teenage years, did you have similar behaviours?

If yes, it’s likely part of the normal teenage process of seeking independence.

Is the behaviour linked to sensory sensitivity or difficulty with change?

Is your child withdrawing because they are overwhelmed by noise, light, or social expectations?

Does the behaviour occur after a schedule change or an unexpected event?

If so, it could be related to ASD rather than typical teenage mood swings.

Does the behaviour seem to be about social norms or personal interests?

Many teenagers lose interest in family activities as they develop friendships and hobbies. If your child is doing the same, it’s likely just part of growing up and should be celebrated as they form their own sense of self.

However, if they are struggling to make friends or showing distress in social situations, it may be an ASD-related challenge that needs support.

How does your child communicate about the issue?

Are they able to explain their frustrations, even if they don’t want to engage?

Or do they shut down completely and become distressed when questioned?

Difficulty in expressing emotions or understanding perspectives may point to ASD-related struggles.

Is this behaviour a sudden change or has it been ongoing?

Dramatic shifts in behaviour could be due to typical teenage development, peer influences, hormone influx or even mental health concerns like anxiety or depression.

If your child has always exhibited a certain behaviour (e.g., strict adherence to routines, non normal social protocols), it may be more closely tied to ASD.

How to Respond Effectively

Once you’ve stepped through these questions, you can approach the situation with clarity:

For normal teenage behaviour: Set clear expectations, allow independence within safe limits, and keep communication open without overreacting.

For ASD-related challenges: Provide structure, use clear and direct communication, and work with professionals if extra support is needed.

Summary

Parenting a teenager is never easy and can be extremely frustrating but distinguishing between normal teenage rebellion and ASD-related difficulties can make a huge difference both to you and your child. By taking a moment to reflect on the root of the behaviour, parents can provide the right kind of support, whether that’s guidance, patience, or tailored interventions.

At the end of the day, your teenager is both growing up and neurodivergent and that balance is something to navigate with understanding and empathy, not just assumptions.
Best of Luck